Hello dearest reader,
I am sorry it has been a long time since you last heard from me. But I have been a busy bunny. One of the things which I have done in the last two weeks is I worked my last EVER waitresssing shift. This is because of the imminent start of my journalism career. I have waitressed since I was 17 so putting down my last ever plate of food felt like an achievement. I complain about waitressing a-lot! I have spent the majority of saturday nights for the past 5 years serving other people food and trying to do so with a smile. Also, I have not had a hogmanay off since I started serving food. However despite this I have had some good times as a waitress, I thought I would share a few of my favourite moments of my service career with you.
On my first night as a waitress I was working at a very posh hotel in the banqueting department. Now as anyone who has worked in the industry knows, your first night is terrifying. The plates are hot and heavy, the customers often narky and the chefs terrifying. So as I attempted to clear a table and expertly stack the plates on my arm when, horror of horrors I dropped a fork down a womans dress. But the big man was on my side and, she didn't notice. The back of her dress was drapey (bad english i know sorry but it describes it perfectly) and it appeared to have slipped down unnoticed. So I walked away. I still to this day wonder if the woman noticed before she got home or took off her dress and wondered, where did that come from?
Another one of my finer waitressing moments was when I had moved to the restaurant of this fancy establishment and I was delivering a birthday cake to a table and... I dropped it. WORST. MOMENT. EVER. I stood looking down at the cake at my feet and instead of apologising I burst into hysterical laughter and had to duck away with a very red face, fortunately the table saw the funny side. Sadly, my manager did not.
Then there was the time I was opening champagne and the cork lept out and hit an antique picture on the wall, once again an event which myself and the customers found hilarious but the manager did not.
During my years as waitressing I worked with many different nationalities. One of my coworkers who was of eastern european origin came up to me one night with a dessert plate, pointed to a fruit on it and asked me what it was called. It was a physalis, which is like a gooseberry. However the waiting staff had taken to calling it syphilis. Not realising that she was asking for a table I told the girl, with a grin on my face, it's syphilis. As English was not her first language she did not get the joke and went up to the table and announced that is was syphilis. I had to apologise a-lot; to the customers, the poor girl and once again, my manager.
This makes me sound like a bad waitress, But despite being accident prone and having the shakiest hands in the world, I was an ok waitress. Generally, I am quite likeable and customers had a tendency to open up to me, the number of overshares I experienced were insane. I worked with some amazing people, who have now become my dear friends. I was however also responsible for the demise of many glasses and plates- may they rest in peace. But now I look back and feel quite proud that I worked through uni but am now ready to start my new career.
I do now have every Saturday night free though so if anyone wants to play get in touch.
And if you enjoyed my waitressing tales let me know as there are much more where they came from and I will happily share them with you. I just didn't want to bore you just now.