Sunday, 24 July 2011

Week one

All week this week my alarm has been set for 7am. "What?" I hear you cry, "that's a bit early for you isn't it?" - Yes it is.
However I have not started setting my alarm for 7 just for fun, no this week I finally ditched sleep and midweek drinking and started a real job. DUN DUN DUN....
So actually, I will be setting my alarm at 7 every morning for the forseeable future. Which is depressing as that time and myself in the morning are not friends. And it is not just the getting up in the morning that is the problem. I have to get up, THEN shower, THEN get dried, THEN do my hair, THEN do my make-up, THEN get dresses. It is exhausting.
But wait, I hear you cry, we want to know about your first week, well dear readers I will hold you in suspense no longer. Here are a few highlights of my first week as a reporter for a newspaper (Which due to me wanting to keep my job will be referred to as the paper.)
Day 1 - I had an interesting conversation with someone who called the paper, I answered the phone with a smile, hoping for my Pulitzer prize winning story, and here is  how my conversation went-

Old lady says "hello, is that my paper?"
I went erm.... well i am not the paper but you are through to the the paper.
Oh yes, she says, you have my paper. (I would like to point out at this point that I do not have her paper.)
I dont think I do have your paper, I am sorry you will have to explain....
"Well, I asked my local post office to get the paper but they said you have it."
Me? Really? I have no paper honestly!....
So I explain, I think you are talking to the wrong department... I write the paper.
"What you wrote on my paper?"
No, look try this number and they might be able to help you...
"Ok dearie but if you do see my paper, there should be two copies, please take good care of them as I might not get to pick them up until thursday as it is my neighbour Gladys' daughter's wedding tomorrow, Oh I do hope it doesn't rain."
I am sure the weather will be better.
"Yes but in the mean time dear please take care of my papers. Thank-you."
I went to try and find the papers. I couldn't. I feel bad.
I bet clarke kent didn't have to deal with this much stress.
Day 2 - I went out to take a photograph and got soaked, ended up looking like a drowned rat and lost all notes from story due to smudged ink. Kindly person at photograph suggested I use pencil to write my hieroglyphics (otherwise known as shorthand.) Seriously considering buying dictaphone....
Day 3- I got my picture taken to go in paper as introduction to local community. It is quite large picture and was placed on page 3... which is funny really as when I used to tell people I wanted to work for newspapers the witty reply I always got (Mainly from males) was hahaha what page? hahaha page 3? hahaha.... So  there we go. I can tick that one off on my list of achievements.
Day 4- Paper came out, Yes my first I am getting paid to write this paper. How cool is that?
I would like to point out that this is just a selection of things I have done, it is not the entire inventory of my week, but these are a few key points.
I have learned lots of new technological stuff and have been very happy spending my week getting paid to write because, as you all are sadly too aware, I love writing.
So it seems so far the job is going well although I am already bored of sandwiches so any nice lunch suggestions will be much appreciated :D
Fi "Crack reporter" Stokes

Just to clarify, I have not yet been asked to hack any telephones. However if you fee your phone is worth hacking let me know. :-)

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